Vikar’s Rant

I find Robitussin D with a twist of lemon Theraflu to be the choice of champions. One shot of that, equivalent to two teaspoons, after a piping hot mug of lemon Theraflu with a drop of honey can really make your fever enhanced halucinations really entertaining. I take this in an easy chair with my least favorite flannel pajamas and let the good times roll. It beats daytime television and you don’t even need a remote [...]

I live a stone’s throw from the Freehold Raceway Mall, Target, The Wiz, Bob’s Sports, CompUSA, and (my favorite) Barnes & Noble. Every year it’s the same thing. People forget how to drive for the entire month of December. All of those people are now driving near me. In the month of December, just getting in a car can be an adventure. However, I’ll overlook the fact that every car’s signaling system seems to short out all at the same time and that all of their rear view mirrors are not working in exchange for a parking space anywhere within walking distance of a [...]

The first mistake I made was to read the document while I was medicated with Vicodin. This was a precautionary step from my surgeon to take care of any pain I might have while I heal from the operation. I realized that no matter how much coffee I drank and how much studying I did I would always have the comprehension ability of the average Joe listening to the “Peanut’s” teacher talk to Charlie Brown (Waw WA WA waw WA waw waw). Vicodin and concentration don’t [...]

Picture this if you will. It’s 1990. A twenty-four year old new hire who defined “party” as something seen in the first ten minutes of the movie, Animal House, goes to his first office party. He is surrounded by coworkers, roughly his age and experience, including his roommate whom he’d gone to college with*. Mix with that a band of stuffy, old school, financial / technical managers. The place: Hot Rods Dance Club - downtown [...]

Samhain (pronounced sow-en or sav-in) comes from the old Irish for “summers end” or, according to some sources, “November”. To the ancient Irish, there were two seasons - Summer and Winter. In agricultural soccieties, winter could be a very scary time indeed. If there were not enough provisions stored families could starve to death. So, throughout the summer, crops were tended, were harvested, sold and stored for later use. Samhain was the last great harvest. [...]

However, with all that aside, I did watch an abnormal amount of television. I would get home from school and watch TV immediately. This was bad. I would watch TV until about 8:PM, do my homework, and come back downstairs and watch some more until I had to go to bed. My parents actually owned one of the first pilot VCR’s back in 1978. It never really occurred to my parents to actually turn off the TV. Especially when they were getting comments from parent/teacher conferences that I had problems paying attention in class and “lacked self control” (Pay attention, kiddies, these are all symptoms of Attention Deficit [...]

I appreciate my wife’s honesty and I don’t get offended. This is unusual with many people. So much so that in the corporation I worked for there was a specific procedure for telling people they stank. I remember this one instance of a woman who had regular terrible body odor. It was bad. It was so bad that one could not ignore the unmistakable biological warfare she conducted within herself. She had… um… “feminine hygiene issues”. Picture the awkwardness at [...]

I am certain that electric eye door openers were a byproduct of this show, as well as video conferencing, as well as cell phones, and even floppy disks. Do you know that medical science now has a hand held magnetic imager similar to a tricorder? Watch the old series and see how many of the “futuristic tools” they used are now commonly used today in the year 2001. I get goosepimply just thinking about it. [...]

“What was that middle part again?”
- Otto (Kevin Klein) from A Fish Called Wanda

“You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?”
- Title of the adult attention deficit disorder self help book by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo

“What happens when the brain’s capacity to process information is exceeded? It shuts down.”
- From ‘You Mean I’m Not [...]

Plus, here’s another bonus - YOU JUST GOT RID OF CRAP THAT YOU WERE NEVER GOING TO USE ANYWAY!!! You have just created new space that you can put other stuff in that won’t be cluttering up your house. And, if you do it well enough, come moving time, that’s less you have [...]