Some of the books just in my basement
Vikar’s Rant started in the summer of 2001 as a personal web page and he used it to post his reflections on corporate idiocy and life in general. In addition to his rants, he started to publish some of his more successfull recipes to people who wished to poison themselves slowly in a more flavorful fashion.
Later as the site began to evolve, Vikar started to publish jokes that were emailed to him as a way to keep the mood light. Eventually the driving force behind the jokes became more of a personal crusade when he found that a woman was printing them out to read to her dying grandfather. She emailed Vikar to say that the jokes were one of the few comforts that kept her grandfather going until he eventually passed away. (Relax, the Jokes are coming.)
He is the oldest child and only boy of 4 children born to an upper middle class family. Vikar is happy to say that while being born in Stuyvesant Town, New York, he has spent the majority of his life living in many parts of New Jersey. He enjoys living in the Garden State despite what politicians are doing to it. If you were to ask him what he thinks of his home state, he’d tell you “There is nothing like New Jersey for getting your daily allowance of pollen and radon.”
Vikar was raised Roman Catholic. He spent every Saturday of his childhood (until 10th grade) going to CCD. In his life, he has only scored perfectly in one exam - Religion. He attended St. Peter’s College in Jersey City where on one drunken night he met the love of his life and lost track of her for five years.
He spent all four years in college in the theatre. In his senior year, he became president of the Argus Eyes Drama Society and starred in the musical “Company”. He graduated college with a Marketing/Management degree (focusing on research) with an Activity Scholarship and on time (His father stating that the first four years were “on him”. Anything after that he had to finance.) Less than a year after graduation he moved out of his parents’ house and has been living on his own ever since.
Eventually, he got a job in what he terms “corporate hell” in a Fortune 500 company. With no formal training, he has worked as a technology help desk representative, a management performance reporter, a web designer/ web master, and a quality assurance tester. His biggest accomplishment is not being “found out” after all this time.
In an unusual stroke of luck, he married the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. They have been been almost inseparable for the last decade (being married for all but 1 year of that) and she hasn’t killed him yet (not for lack of trying). He, to this day, has no children other than his two dogs - Guinness and Killian, five cats - Freyja, Amber, Harry, Gytha, and Esthmerelda, and one bird - Merlin, a parakeet.
Vikar does not plan to spawn.
Seeing the faults of Christianity and the Bible as a bad novel hastily put together and only designed to keep followers, he has turned his back on the religion he was born into in favor of Paganism and Buddhism. Where Christians have “faith”, he knows and questions. It is easier to believe in the concepts of a God and Goddess balancing things rather than an angry “father god” who punishes anyone for all eternity. This has renewed his interest in spirituality as he now sees the world in a different light now.
Vikar loves comic books, science, science fiction, literature, computers, British comedy, spirtuality and interesting people. If you like to comment on any of these, please feel free. A contact page is on the way.
Now, as an exercise of philosophy, he has begun a written journey observing things and situations around him. He calls them his rants. Armed with a pen and PC, his mission is to go through his life without prejudice. However, he can’t stomach one collection of people.
Idiots.
If you are an idiot, he believes you are cannon fodder. If you are only just smart enough to read these articles then you will DEFINITELY be offended by his rants.
Vikar now lives happily in Freehold, New Jersey - eight miles away from where he grew up.
Who is Vikar?
Vikar’s real name is Chris.
Rather he is (or was) my alter ego. I used to play Dungeons & Dragons with a bunch of my friends from Seton Hall University (I am not alumni). My character was a viking berserker called Vikar (pronounced VEE-CAR or VICK-AR) the Unruly. If you can imagine someone with absolutely no tact, or manners, and would habitually go into battle at a moments notice at the slightest provocation with a berserker rage and battle axe, then you can imagine Vikar. He was great to reduce my stress level at the time because I really could say anything I wanted within the confines of the game.
The real Vikar - King Vikar of Norse Legend - actually strikes closer to this page than ever I did. King Vikar, in order to gain a favorable wind in a sea battle had promised a sacrifice to the All Father, Odin. He and the crew drew lots to be victim and King Vikar had selected his own name.
His blood brother, Starkad, went to see the all father to see if he would change his mind, but Odin was adamant and demanded that he have a sacrifice for the many favors he had granted. He handed Starkad a spear that looked like a reed.
Starkad felt that the best course of action would be to make a mock sacrifice. King Vikar stood on a stump with a loop of soft catgut around his neck from a weak twig as Starkad held the reed to his chest.
Starkad announced, “Now I give you to Odin!” At once, the reed turned into a spear, the catgut into a strong rope and the twig into a large branch. The stump rolled away from King Vikar and he was hung and impaled.
I figured that if Vikar REALLY existed, he would be a guy with a lot to rant about.
I don’t carry a battle axe but I can type on a PC and maybe do the same amount of damage.
So bear that in mind as you are reading my articles.
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