Vikar’s Rant

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married. [...]

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy.

There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew [...]

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

‘Not a chance,’ says the husband, ‘it is 3:00 in the morning!’

He slams the [...]

Once, on a very windy day, a rabbi was on his way to the temple. Suddenly a strong gust of wind blew his streimel (fur hat) off his head. The rabbi ran after his hat but the wind was so strong it kept blowing his hat farther and farther away. He could not catch up [...]

The saddest instance I can remember was that in March 2001 when the “storm of the century” was predicted. I remember that one as well. I left a perfectly good St. Patrick’s Day party in Staten Island to try to beat the storm. And let me tell you, I drove through the “storm of the century”. I got home to Freehold and I watched the snow fall as it failed to cover the height of the grass. It was pathetic. Every weather forecaster got it wrong except for Alan Casper on NJ 101.5, who said that he didn’t think it was going to be bad at all. And the one thing I can definitely tell you was that the stores were free of milk, eggs, and [...]