Vikar & Mr. Wizard

Another in the Rant: RERant Forum

"All it takes is a dollar and a dream"
- slogan for the New York Lotto

"FINSTER!! YOU NAUGHTY BABY!!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO PLAY WITH THE DIRTY MONEY!!"
- Bugs Bunny

June 26th, 2003

Mr. Wizard sent me this interoffice e-mail about the last lottery and a coworker who prefers a different game.

A co-worker of Mr. Wizard's complaint on contributing to the last $180 million Office Lottery Pool from THE BIG GAME:

So far we wasted $20 each. Be my guest if you guys want to waste more money.

$34 buys about 120 diapers. (My) Kid is gonna have to wear one of my old T-shirts soon.

Play the regular lottery - you've got a much slimmer chance to give NY your dollars.

Mr. Wizard's Comment

Considering the odds of winning the jackpot are 1 in 135,145,920, we were all fools for trying to win anything less than a $136 million jackpot.

Then again, consider that in the $180 million jackpot game, there were nearly 1.8 million winning tickets sold. I can't find info on the total number of tickets sold, but considering the overall chances of winning any prize are 1 in 43, we can say over 75 million tickets were sold.

Which means in that game there's a better than 50% chance of there being a single jackpot winner. Or a 25% chance of there being two. Or a 12.5% chance of there being three. And so on...

So, odds are even if we did win a huge jackpot like $180 million, the average winning we'd expect to see would be around $120 million (I'll spare everyone the math).

Not shabby, but you're still technically a sucker, because 120 million is less than the 1 in 135 million odds.

In other words, the lottery is a tax for people bad at math. But you can't dream without a ticket!

Vikar's Comment

YOU ARE NOT A MEGA MAN!!! A Mega Man would dream of not using his old T-shirt on his baby's bum! Rather he would use imported silk sheets for his child and throw them away afterward! A mega man would be so rich he would only use soap until the letters disappear, then he would throw it out!* That's the Mega Man WAY!!

People like Mister "I'm not going to waste my money playing this game" - kill me.

Of course, it's a waste of money. Anyone with an IQ of over three would know that.

There are a whole bunch of reasons people play the lottery, but I'll tell you one reason that they don't. They don't play the lottery because they have altruistic dreams of helping the poor and giving a boost for state taxes. If the decision came to playing New York Lotto for $60 million or playing the Big Game for $200 million. I'll play the Big Game everyday and twice on Sunday.

I couldn't give a rat's ass where my dollar goes so long as the dream is bigger. With that much money I could finance my death ray and make plans for world domination. Heh heh... Ha! ... Ha Ha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I SHALL RULE THE WORLD AND NOTHING SHALL STOP ME!!! TREMBLE BEFORE MY AWESOME POWER!!!!...

Oh... um... Sorry, I was just having a moment - back to the rant.

However, on a smaller more practical scale, going in on an office pool for some lottery tickets serves more than just the "dollar and a dream" philosophy. From a management teamwork perspective, it helps contribute to the spirit of comeraderie. I can speak from personal experience, that I have given to worthy interoffice causes when I've been low on cash. In the case of a lottery pool, it really is a WIN-WIN situation. If by some amazing fluke, one of the tickets wins, you AND THE TEAM are a couple of million dollars richer (Obviously, it would be more if you went it alone.) But even if the contributer loses, the return on investment is a coworker comeraderie. Which, in these days of downsizing and low office morale, can't be measured in terms of dollars (much less a mere twenty dollar bill).

The value is priceless.

But let me go further on Mister "I pay $34 bucks for Pampers". Why is everything broken down to denominations of baby value? (You knew this was coming.) Whenever I try to put things into context of price, I use "lunch" denomination. Twenty dollars is lunch for 4 days. I think we can all understand it in those terms. And if the cost of pampers is going to bankrupt you either A) don't have kids or B) don't play the lottery.

The lottery was not invented for people who don't like to take risks. That's why it's called gambling.

Mr. Wizard's ReRant

OK, more re-rant from me...

I used to play the Lotto, back about 15 years ago. I wasn't looking to win $25 million, I was looking to win $25. I figured one buck a week (twice a week eventually when drawings went to Wednesday and Saturday, extra chances to take people's hard-earned money) was a worthy loss to have an occasional bigger bill in my pocket. After over a year, I never won a thing. Not one nickel.

A friend of mine went with me once and bought a $1 "quick pick" and won about $50 in his first ever venture into the lottery.

I never played again.

Well, not true. I do participate in the occasional office pool (hence the message that started this rant). But I don't buy scratch-offs, daily numbers, or anything else related. I get plenty of enjoyment out of doing other things, like watching people walk in and out of the deli buying scratch-offs and daily numbers.

The funny thing is that the lottery - at least in New York - was to have its proceeds go to education. Well, after all these years, the education system in New York stinks a few "landfill degrees" more than it did back when the lottery started some 20 or so years ago.

Once again, good money going to waste.

Want a dollar and a dream? Buy an Italian ice and sit in a park. You'll be glad you did.

*- With apologies to Andy Rooney. That was his quote when he was asked how rich he wanted to be. He said he wanted to have enough money so that he could throw out his soap the moment he couldn't see all the letters on the bar.