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"What was that middle part again?"
- Otto (Kevin Klein) from A Fish Called Wanda
"You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?"
- Title of the adult attention deficit disorder self help
book by Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo
"What happens when the brain's capacity to process information
is exceeded? It shuts down."
- From 'You Mean I'm Not Crazy, Stupid, or Lazy'
"There is no such thing as ADD."
- Rush Limbaugh (as observed in Beyond ADD by Thom Hartmann)
"Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot: And Other Observations"
- Title of Al Franken's best selling satire book
August 19th, 2004
What do people do when they come face to face
with an aspect of themselves that they can not deny?
Well, if you are like me, you make light of it
and do what you can to accept it as a way of life. Contrary
to what a nationally syndicated right wing talk show host would
have you believe, ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) is a reality.
But, hey, don't take my word as Gospel. If you really wish to
follow what "fat boy" tells you, ask him for his doctorate
in neurology or psychiatry. I'm sure he'll provide you with
hours of comedic entertainment.
I'm not a doctor and I don't play one on TV,
either. What I can tell you is what I know and what I can also
tell you is what I'm going to do about it. I know and I have
always known that I'm not stupid. I know that my mind has always
had a tendency to wander, especially when there is a distraction
in the room. I know that I can be really intense about certain
things to the exclusion of all else to the point where I'm unaware
that anything else is happening in the room. I know I have the
tendency to procrastinate due to silly distractions. I know
that I'm prone to moodiness (Gee, a guy with a ranting page...
Hmmmm). I know that my visualization skills test off of the
chart and that while my writing ability is pretty good, my speaking
communication skills have always been somewhat lacking.
All of these qualities are symptoms of ADD. If
you suspect that you may have ADD, do not self diagnose, get
to a psychiatrist and get tested. It could do wonders for your
self image.
And speaking of which, I know I've quoted the
YOU MEAN I'M NOT LAZY, STUPID OR CRAZY book by Kate Kelly
and Peggy Ramundo but if you actually have ADD, I don't whole
heartedly recommend it. It is informative but you can get depressed
as hell from it quite easily. I, unfortunately, started reading
this book during my television addiction fast and my wife can
certainly testify that it made me probably the most miserable
bastard in existence. It read like a patronizing degrading book
and left me feeling that I was not only mentally retarded* but
I was also never going to be as good as anyone else without
being severely medicated. **
Let me ask you: Is this something you'd want
to hear if you suspected you had a condition you were really
curious about? I didn't think so. This is especially bad news
if you are a person who has always preached that knowledge is
power and that you can do anything so long as you put your mind
to it. It doesn't help your morale if you find out that your
own mind has been betraying you all along due to some physical
quirk.
Well, I'm not going to let something like some
stupid disorder get in my way. My wife and people who know me
personally will tell you that I've always been a fighter and
have a determination drive that just won't quit.
Apparently, that's the upside of ADD. When ADDers
decide to focus on something they have a very handy ability
called "hyperfocusing". Let me put this in digestible
terms. It's the ability to sort of "bulk upload" information.
The process is not quick but once information is in there, it
pretty much stays in there. Unfortunately, the criteria for
hyperfocus is that the ADDer has to be REALLY interested in
the subject matter. If he or she is not, he'll just either zone
out or wind up reading the same line of text over and over again.
And the side effect to that is the propensity to become easily
bored with things or, even worse, procrastinate.
Let me tell you, the procrastination part is
crippling.
But there are ways around it. I've taken to heart
something that my brother-in-law Christopher said. He gave me
a great concept of "scheduled procrastination". Neat,
huh? He mentioned this when I was hanging around my parents'
house knowing I had to clean my mother's nursery school. I was
there for an hour (If you think I was in a rush to clean up
the mess that toddlers make, think again.) He said to me, "Your
scheduled procrastination time is nearly over." It occurred
to me that if I set up a specific amount to time to procrastinate,
when that time ended, I'd be doing the task at hand "on
time". It's a trick that almost always works for me now.
Scheduled procrastination time varies as to where and what the
circumstances are. Obviously, if I'm in my workplace environment,
the scheduled procrastination time is pretty short say, 15 minutes.
If I'm at home and it's not urgent, I allow myself about an
hour.
I guess living with my sister, the psychology
major, rubbed off on him.
Thom Hartmann, former executive director of the
New England Children's Village and author of several books on
ADD writes in his book Beyond ADD, how the condition
may have evolved. His theory goes way back to the "hunter/gatherer"
times of man. This condition may have been an adaptive psychological
and physiological mechanism for survival. "Distractibility"
being defined as a perpetual scan for predators combined with
"hypervigilance". A useful tool - back then. I'd like
to think that this was something as an evolutionary throw back
to explain why I lose interest in things quickly, why I can
memorize lines from a movie after viewing it twice or why I
can explain the minute details of why kryptonite affects Superman
in a comic book storyline.
Okay, I'm a bad example of how ADD is a good
thing.
Try this one on for size. It has been hypothesized
that the more successful gunfighters during the time of the
"old west" may have had ADD/HD (the HD is short for
Hyperactivity Disorder. That actually is the full acronym of
ADD also known as AD/HD***). The symptoms of the gunfighter
were that they were able to hyperfocus, they were impatient
and were easily annoyed. Many have suspected that gunfighters
like, Wild Bill Hickock had AD/HD due to his success at the
fast draw. Remember survivability is the key.
But there are many other more passive examples
to historical and current figures who have/had ADD. Dustin Hoffman,
Thomas Edison, and Mozart are to name a few. I felt a need to
mention them as none of these people can really be classified
as a mental deficient in any sense of the word.
I think the really neat thing about ADD is the
ability to subconsciously put things together that would not
ordinarily be put together. People with ADD are highly creative.
Finding unique solutions to insanely difficult problems is not
uncommon for the skilled ADDer. The term "absent minded
professor" is really no accident (a term I had to grow
up with - coined by an asshole friend of my father's who had a
penchant for Fred MacMurray Disney Films. I hope he goes through
an Edgar Allen Poe conceived death). We are deep thinkers. As
a matter of fact the entire term of "attention deficit"
is a misnomer. We do not have a deficit of attention, we pay
too much attention. Distractibility is when you are alerted
to something else which grabs attention.
Remember: It's good if you are a caveman. It's
bad if you work in a Fortune 500 firm.
Having ADD means you don't need someone else
to tell you that something is boring. You know before anyone
else. The mind for lack of another term, turns inward to the
myriad of other thoughts that are racing around at supersonic
speed. Having ADD also means you most likely enjoy the thrill
of the moment. ADDers crave stimulation. This is a good and
a bad thing (mostly bad). Since we crave stimulation, Adders
are prone to seeking exciting and possibly dangerous activities
like high intensity sports (like bungee jumping) as well as
drug abuse. On the milder side, the Adder would put down a book
they were reading in favor for something a little more interesting
on an impulse.
Ask me how many books I haven't finished.
It's nauseating.
Actually, when I think about it, it must be quite
maddening to live with me. I know it when I see that psychotic
look on my wife's face. She knows I'm... particular. I can be
critical and tactless on impulse. I'll be in the middle of a
project and go onto working on something else and leave it undone.
I leave stacks of books on the kitchen table and forget to put
them away. There's a reason why she's in charge of paying the
bills and a reason why I'm responsible for writing out one check
a month. I swear I think the woman will strangle me with a pillow
some night when I'm sleeping. I'm also certain that when she
figures it all out, and finds an untraceable way of killing
me, I'll be dead within the week.
Of course, I make all of this light commentary
with a bit of facetiousness. But still, it doesn't hurt to have
Poison Control on your speed dial.
Growing up with ADD is quite frustrating. You
are always the kid who "lacks self control" and "he's
smarter than that" or "why isn't he living up to his
potential". This one's my favorite - "He always seemed
so bright in class. Why doesn't he ever do his homework on time?"
Report cards are a nightmare and parent / teacher conferences
are similar to that of the Spanish Inquisition. My parents used
to get so pissed off at me due to bad grades that they put me
in private school, thinking that it would make a difference.
In actuality, it did make a difference but only in the quality
of the information, not the quantity of it. I was probably in
the best place for someone with my condition could be: a small
classroom with a focused teacher. It didn't help my grades but
I DID LEARN.
I truly sympathize with children who have ADD.
Especially when it goes undiagnosed. Having to go through your
life with the handicap of not knowing why things don't come
to you easily really sucks. Being called a "space cadet"
or a "daydreamer" may not sound like much, but to a
kid with ADD, it eventually does a lot of damage. My opinion is
that to effectively fight this disorder one must learn the concept
of maintenance in lieu of medication.
Maintenance and discipline are key concepts.
Cleaning rooms, exercise, sticking to a structured format that
must be repeated every single day are critical. After a while,
the organization principles sink into the ADDer and it clicks
into place. Maintenance on the ADDer includes a physical and
dietary regimen. I strongly suggest putting an ADDer on The
South Beach Diet Plan. Not specifically for weight loss but
for the high protein / low carbohydrate menu. There is an existing
hypothesis that a high protein diet will increase mental sharpness
and help mental focus. Carbohydrate cravings and consumption
(as well as processed sugar) will lead to depression and mental
haziness. If you suspect you have ADD, it couldn't hurt to go
on the South Beach Diet Plan. If you notice that your mental
acuity increases, you may be on the right path.
I credit not being a fat bastard during my teen
years to a heavy martial arts background. I did intensive regular
exercise two to three times a week. Heavy exercise stimulates
endorphins and will keep you sharp (and happy). Had I known
about a South Beach Diet regimen, who knows how my life could
have turned out?
Someday I'm going to have a very long talk with
my mother and ask her how she put up with me. And how she continues
to do it with my father. ADD is hereditary. I suspect that my
father has it. He certainly has all of the symptoms. However,
in his line of work as well as the position he has, it's really
not an obstacle.
My father was the head of a marketing research
firm and dealt with statistics. He likes statistics and is very
good at it. The field is certainly not a boring one as the variety
of client projects is always new and different. I won't mention
any of his former clients (as my father is now retired) but
as I have been party to some of them, I figure I can mention
a few here. He has done studies for a diarrhea medicine. He
has also done studies for a major credit card company. He has
even done studies for the company I work for now. The conclusions
to the reports and numbers are always interesting and very few
polling and statistical organizations do the type of quality
work that my father did.
It's a lost art to some. But I digress.
I'm certain that one of the reasons why my father
was so successful at his chosen field was specifically that.
It was HIS chosen field. He ran the show. It was never really
boring. His income was subject to the effort he put into it.
He was always stimulated by the variety of studies he worked
on. His work required that he learn everything about a product
or service before he created a questionnaire for it. This work
for him was never boring and it was certainly profitable. In
the many books I've read so far about ADD, his occupation and
position was ideal for a man with that condition. He never really
had to follow someone else's direction. He was not bound by
someone else's rules.
ADD people don't do well marching to someone
else's beat. They prefer to pull out a trumpet instead. Kids
with this condition are not retarded or special. As a matter
of fact, the majority of times they test with very high IQ's.
They can multitask and have a talent for intuitiveness and creativity.
They shine brightly when given a chance. Having ADD is not a
handicap. It can be an advantage in some instances. If you think
you have it, get tested. If you DO have it, do some serious
reading and KNOW what you are getting into. There is a lot of
medication out there and not all of it will fit your lifestyle
or personality. Sometimes prescribing the cure is a trial and
error thing. Be patient and have a goal to be better.
There is hope.
* - Yes, I know it's not politically correct to use that term,
but I really wanted to drive that point home.
*** - Okay, I'll try to stop throwing random letters at you
now.
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